Of Listless Living and Loss
by YARNfics
Summary: An experimental short I did that is focused mostly on how I think Nate acted after the explosion of the Institute. Maybe more to come?
1. Chapter 1

Piper turned to Cait, a helpless expression marring her face. Cait mouth was twisted halfway into a scowl and halfway into a worried frown.

Nate was still silent as he gazed at sky, eyes distant.

Every since the destruction of the institute - which was a few days ago - he hadn't uttered a word. Silent as a shadow, he would drift from settlement to settlement, helping out and listlessly sustaining himself enough to live. When he had gotten back, the three prominent women in his life who loved him (to which none of them had worked up the courage to confront him with said realization) locked eyes and made a silent pact at that moment.

They would keep him safe from himself until he healed.

* * *

The anxiety of all of his friends as Nate was cautiously stepping into the teleporter was palpable and heavy.

Cait was demanding she go too because there was no way in hell he would go somewhere she couldn't follow (she claimed trouble followed him like a dog tracking a bone). Curie was crafting as many stimpacks as she could and shoving them in Nate's arms. Piper tried to make a joke about an interview on the institute when he got back, but the way her shoulders had been stiff and her voice trembled made it clear she was not okay with this. Valentine had already downloaded the codes into his database and made several backups just in case. MacCready and Preston had been been trying to figure out a way they could see what was going on and promised that if Nate didn't get back within two weeks, MacCready would tell Hancock - who was already chomping on the bit to give the institute hell if they didn't give Nate back in one healthy piece - how to get to the institute. Danse was grumbling about how they honestly should just eradicate the Institute for their abominations and contacting Maxson. Deacon was trying to key in to the frequency in case of an emergency so they could deploy a group of railroad operatives in for a emergency evacuation if need be. Dogmeat constantly whined and whimpered. Strong was uncomprehending about the whole thing but knew that human would be fine.

After the flash of light and the machine exploding, people panicked and screamed about how they just killed the general of the minutemen.

After a week of perpetual worry and sleepless nights for all, he finally came back, and was tackled by Curie, Cait, and Dogmeat the moment they saw him.

* * *

Curie hadn't been pleased with Nate's condition, but she was sure that he simply needed time, and as long as he got that and was given the ability to process, it would be the best way for him to recover. As much as Piper wasn't usually a fan of the Ms. Nanny-turned-very-attractive-synth (which had everything to do with jealousy), the journalist knew that of almost anyone in the Commonwealth, Curie was probably the most knowledgable when it came to medicine. Cait had wanted to be more active, but had come to the same conclusion as Piper.

So they had waited (aiming many dubious looks at the child synth that wandered around and occasionally did some work around the settlements).

But days stretched into three weeks and finally after numerous inquiries that no one knew how to answer, a fight snapped him right out of it.

* * *

Piper gritted her teeth from the strain of pushing the female raider off of her and placing one right in between her eyes, emptying the last bullet her clip. She let out a short exhale as she watched Nate back away from another clad in a hulking suit of power armor, ducking wide swings and using two power fists to try to even the battle. They hadn't planned on a harsh run-in with power-armor-clad raiders, but it had happened and now she regretted trying to shave off time in trying to return to Diamond City by cutting through the city's more dangerous areas. They had done it before and got through just fine, they could do it again.

Her thoughts were interrupted when felt the equivalent of the time a raider stabbed her with a pool cue in her shoulder when she was stupider and younger.

She fell, gasping in pain at the sharp sting of the hit and saw a male raided with a smoking pipe-gun in hand, grinning lecherously at her. She scowled angrily and rolled away from before raising her gun, only for it to click at the lack of ammo.

She hadn't reloaded and was dry.

"Well..." He drawled, "Aren't you a fiery little broad? Probably make for a good fuc-"

And a power fist crashed against the man's skull, pulverizing skin, muscle, and bone into red paste before sending him crashing four feet away with a wet splat. Nate was there, blood in a spray of red staining his suit and dripping off the armor he was clad in. Steam hissed from the power fist he had been wielding and he was panting, black eyes glinting with a fury and purpose that she hadn't seen in what seemed to be too, too long.

"Are you okay Piper?" He rasped, kneeling and checking her shoulder.

Thank god (or maybe The Railroad) for the ballistic fiber he insisted on weaving into all of their clothing.

She nodded and cast her eye around before she saw the raider rolling around in the power armor, the helmet crumpled beyond repair, probably suffocating him as he clawed at he metal encasing his skull.

Nate didn't dither and stomped over to the doomed raider and slammed a gauntleted fist into his skull.

* * *

Bundled up in Piper's house, Piper told her Nat to leave for a bit while she talked to Blue.

Nat gave The Sole Survivor a concerned look but acquiesced.

"Blue?" Piper asked, gently shaking his shoulder, "Hey Blue?"

He blinked, and turned to her, question in his eyes that could be translated to, 'Yes?'

"Can we talk?" She inquired gently.

He turned to face her and waited patiently.

"Do you regret what you did to the Institute?" She wanted to make sure that they got this out of the way as soon as possible.

His expression twisted into a conflicted frown and he rubbed a hand across his face.

"I don't know..." He whispered, voice hoarse from disuse.

Piper wanted to cheer at the fact he said something that wasn't from the extreme stress of battle, but scooted closer to him to wrap an arm around his shoulders, "Was it because of Shaun?"

"Father." Nate replied quietly but fiercely, "He was called Father."

Piper nodded, she knew how coping worked when it came disassociating something you knew from something that was different. It was a common thing in the Commenwealth and every had more than their fair share of grief. Shaun was Nate's son, and whether it was fair, or Nate wanted to acknowledge it or not, he always would be.

Nate leaned into her, hiding his face in her shoulder, "I... I investigated the institute... I wanted to make sure whether they really deserved what happened for all that they did..."

He told her everything.

How he put the pieces together.

How they released Supermutants into the Commonwealth, failed tests they discarded to terrorize the innocent when they never needed to.

How they lied and brainwashed scientists into soulless masters of synths.

How the very synths they deigned as the best hope were little more than slaves.

How when he tried to talk to his own son, he had the truth he knew shoved in his face.

His son may have well been dead as a babe.

And Blue, who fought so hard, gone so far, did so much, suffered so much pain for his lost son only to realize it didn't matter at all -

Wept.

He sobbed into her shoulder and clung to her like a lifeline as he let out his whole journey's pain. Piper grasped him just as tightly, heart aching in sympathy, and tears leaking over the pain that this world had put the man she loved through for nothing. When he finally stopped shaking and managed to bring his breathing back under control, he looked up, a small, sad smile on his face.

"Thank you." He coughed, "I really... I really needed that."

She nodded and they stayed like that until Nate breaths became deep and even and he slipped into unconsciousness.

She pressed a kiss to his forehead and gently maneuvered him down on her bed before laying down herself and hugging him, "Anytime, Blue. We're all here for you, no matter what."

After he was asleep, she managed to whisper a soft, "Love you, Blue."

* * *

Finally, when they returned to Sanctuary, Nate was smiling his old crooked grin, eyes bright.

And Piper only gave Curie and Cait a very smug look.

When asked exactly what they did, she said she had a great night of sleep.

She made sure to neglect mentioning the embarrassment Blue demonstrated upon waking up and realizing he'd been spooning with Piper.


	2. Chapter 2

**I origionally was gonna keep this as a one-shot but decided whatever.**

 **-YARN**

* * *

Cait was worried when she searched around Sanctuary and didn't see hide or hair of Nate in the settlement. She was half-worried he'd been kidnapped as he'd like to take strolls to the Red Rocket Station nearby, and half-angry he left without a word. She also did notice Dogmeat was missing as well, and she knew that - for a furry and mangy mutt - Dogmeat was no pushover, so she was able to dial back her worry a bit. Piper looked about as lost as Cait felt (and Cait was still bristling over the fact that Piper was very smug and tight-lipped about whatever happened between Nate and her in Diamond City) searching around the settlement and wondering where he was. Curie had seen him in the morning, he'd asked for a shovel and then left with it in hand, but hadn't returned.

Unsuccessful, Cait resolves to kick his ass when he gets back and decided to help with the crops.

* * *

It's late at night before he stumbles back in, clothing covered in dirt and unquestionably tired. Everyone except the night guard has retired and he can't bring himself to focus on more than need to rest. He barely takes a moment to peel off his jumpsuit, pull on some loose pants, place Kremvh's tooth onto the counter next to the nearest bed, and fall into said nearest bed.

* * *

Cait wakes up early from one of the best sleeps she had in a long while, feeling warm and comfortable and -

Then she feels a warm breath tickle the back of her neck and seep into her hair while two warm arms are wrapped around her waist. She twists in the bed, mouth open to shout and ready to knee the bastard that had slithered into her bed in the crotch so hard he'll never have kids -

And she sees Nate, eyes closed, breaths slow and even, and looking utterly at peace. She wasn't exactly a deep sleeper, but yesterday had emotionally drained her and she was simply too tired and simply done with the worry and work than to pass out.

Her anger and righteous fury melts into quiet wonder at the peaceful look on his face. She takes in his features and way he looks. It just reinforces to her that she is completely and totally in love with this man and with the peace and all she wants in that moment is to stay and sleep some more.

So she does.

Smiling softly - not smirking or grinning unusually enough - she buried her face into his neck, wraps her arms around him, tangles his legs with hers, and presses closer to him. He mumbles and incoherent hum into her hairline as he curls around her and tightens his grip.

Cait smile becomes a wide grin as a thought occurs.

She can't wait for little miss newspaper and the french bot to see this.

* * *

Understandably, Piper and Curie are less than pleased to see Nate spooning with Cait and looking so comfortable, and loudly voice their displeasure.

Nate (unaware of the several still groggy settlers jerking to full consciousness) wakes with a jolt, rolling off the bed and scrambling for Kremvh's tooth when he realizes he's half naked and pointing his weapon at his friends. He turns and sees Cait, smirking sleepily at him from the bed he just rolled out of. Realization dawns on him as he figures out he had accidentally slept in her bed and was probably cuddled up with her all night (with her permission no less, Cait was more than capable of kicking him out if she didn't want him there). He colors violently and stammers out something between a fervent apology and a hurried goodbye as he scoops up his vault suit and dashes into his old house to change.

"I might've pulled something." Cait remarks - teasingly to herself but rather happily to anyone else - at the two glowering women.

The settlers in the building vacate immediately.


End file.
